trance

It's 4 in the morning and I just woke up from what I guess I would call a nightmare....and I'm terrified to go back to sleep. But it wasn't really a nightmare. I guess people call it lucid dreaming, where you feel like you're awake but weird shit is going on and people are talking to you...hallucinations. But you can't really tell people you've been hallucinating can you? Without them trying to get you committed into a mental hospital anyway. I drifted off at about two in the morning only to wake up two hours later to voices in my head. First I heard a deep, demonic-like voice saying "floor seven please". Then I heard someone calling my name outside in the driveway. Then I dreamt that I went to a movie theater with Brice and Carey and they had a gay Asian friend who kissed them both on the cheek. And when Brice kissed him back, he kissed him on the mouth too. The gay guy said, "oohh, I like Brice". And I started to say, "hey, back off" then I heard laughter. Wild laughter that sounded like a bunch of drunk people who had just heard something really funny. And I was sure I was awake, looking at my wall, but I didn't know where the laughter was coming from. It died down and then started back up again. I kept thinking, "How could I hear this laughter?" Then I thought, well if I can hear laughter, I can hear really scary noises too, right? I guess subconciously I pushed myself to hear the scary noises....and then I heard demonic laughter. And then I freaked out. My eyes were open, I was staring at my room, but shit was floating in the air. Like saucepans and stuff. And I saw shadows moving all around. Then I heard a really raspy "grrrr" noise. It was like the noise those demon things in the movie Ghost made. I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't wake up. I was powerless there, sitting in my bed, trying to move and call out but I was paralyzed. I felt my head pulsing and wondered if I'd ever be able to move again. I got a headache sitting there trying to come to terms with what was happening or figure out if I was awake or what..Finally I pulled myself out of it and turned on the light. It was the fucking scariest thing that happened to me in a long time....

It happened to me one other time, when I was 16. I was in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho for 4th of July weekend with my mom and younger brother and we were staying in my stepdad's aunt's house (she wasn't there). It was an old house and I slept in a little guest room. I heard what sounded like the voice of satan talking to me. There were fast, garbled whispers in my ear that I couldn't understand and evil laughter. I thought I was awake that time too. My mom said a "haint" got on me, whatever the fuck that means. I wish there was a way to protect myself from those "dreams"....I never want to be scared to sleep again.

frustration!

In last night's dream, I was on my way to work when I discovered my tank was almost on empty. At the gas station, I was about to get out of my car and fill up the tank when a tall man in an official looking suit approaches me.

"I'm sorry, you can't have any gasoline today."

"What?!"

"I'm sure you've heard about the new gasoline regulation act?"

"No! I need gas! I need to go to work today!"

"I'm sorry miss...you'll probably get a voucher for ten dollars worth of gas at the end of the month."

"Bullshit!!"

So I left the gas station and tried to make it to work but ran out of gas. My car sputtered to the shoulder and I started banging my head on the steering wheel.

the factory

This is going to be really fuzzy and non-sensical. Last night's dream was set way in the future and metal covered the earth. Factories everywhere, robots, workers, the sound of industry. I was walking to school with some friends...this means I was not outside...there was no view of nature anywhere. I could not see the sun, just walking to school through a dark, massive place filled with cogs and gears. Then I met Zach. That was the first time I met him. He had a girlfriend named Annike, whom he'd had for 3 years. But he was hitting on me. I told him to talk to me when he was single. The next day I was at work (I don't know what my job was, I just know I was carrying stuff back and forth). I saw Zach again and felt very attracted to him. We ended up going out to eat. I went to his house and he had pictures of Annike all over his wall and two of me by his bed. I got angry and shouted a few dirty insults at him.

After my lunch break I went back to work and found myself having a hard time trying to carry the heavy objects from place to the other. Some Mexican lady and her two daughters came by and gave me pitying looks and patted my shoulders. She told me the stuff would feel lighter if I put a plastic bag full of water under my arm. It didn't make sense and I asked her, 'why would that help me? I'll still have the same amount of heavy stuff to carry." She told me to trust her, it works. So I tried it just to amuse her but low and behold, it worked. Then the lady told me "Have a good day. And take care of yourself. Because there's a war coming, you know."

Then I got scared. For the rest of the dream, everyone was talking in foreign languages, making preparations for the war. I kept seeing sad mothers with sallow faces and crying children....like the ones you see in pictures from the Holocaust. I had a favorite bar I hung out at, and always saw Zach there but never went home with him again. The Mexican lady continued to help me everyday at work and she always comforted me and patted my back because I was so depressed about Zach.

wtf.

horror!

Last night's dream was straight out of a horror movie. I had different parents. We just moved into a haunted house. I got ready for bed and went into my new room to find that there was blood all over the bed. I screamed and tried to run out of the room but the door slammed in my face. I opened it and ran to my parents. They told me to sleep on the couch and shut their door. I kept trying to get into their room because I was so freaked out, but the door was locked. I had to spend the rest of the night with a ghost. Ewww, I hate nightmares.

the thing about it is....

I started a blog. Yeay. I will use this blog to record all the dreams I have. Shit yeah.