dang tards.

In the last dream I remember, I had somehow gotten a job teaching special needs children. They all had a learning disability of some sort; some had down's syndrome, others schizophrenia, autism, and other assorted mental maladies. Brice asked me how my job was going one day and I told him I hated it and I hated working with retards. I felt so aggravated and annoyed by the pleas and requests and needs of the retarded kids I was there to serve. I couldn't understand why I even had this job except for the fact that it paid $30,000 a year and that was enough for me. I kept using the word "retard" over and over. Then I started using it at school, in the presence of my students. The principal called me into her office and scolded me: "You just can't say "tard" or use the word "retarded" in even a vaguely insulting manner!"

The principal hired a teaching assistant to help me manage the class and she herself was retarded. She was able to help the students though. She too scolded me about my derogatory remarks towards the people I was supposed to be helping. The last I remember is her look of disgust and frustration with me--she intimidated me with her scowl and her dull-colored fish eyes.

lost in mexico

I was on vacation in Mexico with Brice and his family and I somehow got separated from the group and couldn't find my way back to the hotel. After a few hours of looking for the hotel and asking anyone I could find who spoke English where it was, I was panicky and in tears. A Mexican couple saw me crying and invited me back to their house for dinner and said I could try to work things out there. I tried calling Brice, his mom, and his sister from the peoples' phone but there was no service to their cell phones. I was frustrated and sad and knew deep down that I would never find them again and they couldn't find me either and they were just going to leave the country without me.

The Mexicans were having a birthday party for one of their sons, so there was drinking, dancing, and laughter all around me, but I couldn't enjoy it I was so scared and trapped. The next morning the woman gave me a sack lunch and told me to go to the embassy. Before I left she grabbed my shoulders, gave me a very serious look, and gave me a warning: "Don't speak Spanish. Your Spanish is too bad; they'll find you."