The Battle of Columbia

In my dream last night some Middle Eastern country's army (not sure which) had attacked Columbia and a battle was underway (LOL) and all the local media was panicking. Brice kept trying to leave--he wanted to join the army (LOL again). I kept yelling and pleading with him and yelling at him that I wouldn't let him go down there (triple LOL). And we kept arguing back and forth this way for quite a while but in the end my persistence and stubbornness won.

I was sitting with a group of people and saw some GIs. I asked them what was going on downtown but they just said, "Keep calm" and kept moving. I saw a freemason on a horse wearing all his official garb and regalia.

Then some people came running and screaming from the direction of downtown and we all knew then there was going to be an explosion and Brice started running and said "OH SHIT!" And we tried to search for the car keys so we could drive away but then

BOOM.

Kari Kills a Shark

Last night's dream: Kari and I were swimming at some water park and her dog Pup was with us. We were swimming in this big tank full of water when a lifeguard told us to get out, that there was a shark in the pool. It was pretty small for a shark, about the size of a marlin, and I thought it was harmless because it hadn't messed with us yet. It was still pretty scary though. It was a scary Jaws-style shark with sharp teeth, only in miniature.

We got out and then Pup ran over and attacked the shark, growling at it and trying to catch it. In reality, Pup is very protective of Kari, so I wasn't surprised. The shark jumped out of the water and bit Pup's throat and he died.

Kari went into a rage and started breathing very heavily. "I'm gonna kill that fucking shark if it's the last thing I do. It killed my fucking dog!!" She was screaming and crying and I was trying to calm her down. She ran to the pool with her swiss army knife and stabbed the shark.

She fried the shark and dipped it in chocolate for dinner that night, but I was so disgusted I couldn't eat it. I could see the shark's eyes through the chocolate coating.

two dreams about talking animals in two weeks!!

Last week I had a dream that Kari and I were riding our bikes near a river across from a huge city. It was pretty--there were huge skyscrapers and bridges and the water in the river was strangely ocean blue. But the weird thing was, Kari had tree branches sprouting out all over her body.

We rode our bikes under a bridge tagged with grafitti and encountered a growling dog. The dog attacked Kari and bit off some of her branches. She screamed and cried and we rode away on our bikes as fast as we could.

We rode up to a residential area and pulled into a driveway. There was a rabbit on the porch with its arm in a sling. It was a talking rabbit. A fucking talking rabbit. I asked it if we could come inside and use the phone. I thought maybe since the rabbit was injured, the people of the house would know how to help Kari out. They welcomed us warmly and gave Kari some bandages and aspirin, and gave us dinner. The rabbit got jealous that we were getting so much attention and jumped in my lap and started yelling at me. I called him insecure and an attention whore and he started shaking and crying and told me to shut up.


Yesterday's dream was blurrier but also involved an English-speaking animal. I was eating jello in some cabin in the woods and a wolf came to the door and asked if he could have some. I told him no, this was my jello and he got so angry he started shaking. He turned towards the woods, then turned around and said, "Well, it's not going to be just me who knows you have jello. I'm going to tell every wolf in the woods about your jello. Hahahahaa!!" I was like "NOOOOO!!!" then I woke up.



WTF? I haven't eaten jello since like 1989 and don't really want to eat any...so why would I dream about it?

It was terrible. My grandma died and an old professor had to tell me about it. I couldn't find the strength to cry though. The grieving hadn't set in yet.

The professor decided to take me out for the day to help keep my mind off of it. We went to a carnival type gathering and there was a "coffin ride." You lay in a coffin, lid shut, then you rise up through the ground at a high speed and pop up and scare the other carnival goers. The professor impressed me with her knowledge of mechanical contraptions, asking the carney what type of engine the ride had, asking if we would be safe. I remember feeling a quirky admiration for my professor--just seeing a woman who knew about engines was rare.

Then we lied in the coffin and I woke up.

I had a dream that I found my wallet under a pile of clothes. In reality, it's missing.

Then I was at a dinner table with some people I didn't know. A man at the table got up and went outside. I went to the window to watch him. He beat and killed an elderly woman and I started screaming. He came back in the house and I ran upstairs. Then he killed his young son. I was shaking and crying, in disbelief. He did it all so non-chalantly.

The dinner group called me to the table. I came in the room and called him a monster. Then I woke up.

Maybe it's because I'm reading Crime and Punishment for my book club. Hmpphh...

Why oh god why?!

I'm glad no one except me reads this blog, because the last dream I remember having was disgusting and non-sensical.

I was having sex with my boyfriend and noticed some mole-like bumps on his --ahem--private area. I was like, "Wait, baby stop, what are those?"

All of a sudden my Grandma walks into the room and flips her hand. "Those are normal, Lissa," she tells me.

I look at them closer and decide they are a normal part of the male dermatitis.

My Grandma leaves the room and my boyfriend and I continue our romp.

Hmmm. Gross.

smoking

There were no words in this dream, just a blur of repeated and out-of-sequence images.

First I was pool-side at some apartment complex with some a married couple of English professors I used to have. They were telling me how hard it is to make ends meet on their salaries. The woman professor was holding her nearly one-year-old baby with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. I remember being shocked to see her smoking. She handed me her baby and offered me a cigarette.

Next I was in the pool trying to teach the baby how to swim. He had one of those big pink elephant floaty devices and was smiling and laughing.

The next image I remember was being on the phone in their kitchen, fighting long distance with my dad about my laziness and refusal to help him with my schizophrenic younger brother. I was so angry I was in tears. The English professor couple both patted me on the back and offered to make me dinner.

"Here, this will make you feel better," the woman said as she handed me her baby again. He was giggling. I remember feeling really annoyed by that.

She lit up a cigarette and started cooking some pasta. I saw her flick her ash into the boiling water while we were talking. She didn't act like it was out of the ordinary.

I sat shocked to see the brainy academics complaining about money and smoking cigarettes. I woke up scratching my head.

I've been having alot of war dreams lately and strangely, they all involve my dad. Last night's wasn't quite a war dream...guerrilla warfare maybe. I was hanging out with my dad in the front yard of some house I've never seen when a bunch of men in black masks run up and start to attack the other people in the yard.

My dad grabs my hand and we run to the back yard. It was so scary and felt so real. I was crying and my dad was telling me to be quiet so I don't give up our location. He pointed to a tree and mouthed the words "climb it." So I climbed that tree faster than I've climbed a tree before and he followed.

We sat in the tree and gave eachother shrugs and sad looks until I woke up.

nooooooooo!!

I was a vampire. I was consumed with guilty feelings for eating innocent people, including friends and family members. But I was hungry. I killed mercilessly when the opportunity arose because I had to. Then I felt horrible about it later and hid. I was a loner. But I still had a boyfriend and spent a lot of time at his house. Since we never really go out during the day, it was convenient, so we spent most of our time hibernating in the dark of our bedrooms. I hissed at him when he tried to remove the sheet of duct tape I had placed over his bedroom window. His roommate was really worried about him. He eyed me suspiciously every time I came over.

Once he asked, "Why do you guys always eat dinner at midnight?" looking straight at me.

Then during one of my hunts for blood, I was caught--by Carey, my boyfriend's roommate. He saw me in an alley between some stores on 9th St. on a loud Saturday night, violently sucking the blood from the neck of an intoxicated homeless man. When I saw Carey, looking silently at me in disgust, I dropped the corpse on the ground and wiped the blood off my mouth. I was frightened. I hissed at him and covered my face. I shouted at him not to look at me. He just stood there. I pleaded with him not to tell Brice. Then he started laughing.

He threw me against the brick side of a building and bellowed, "I knew you were after Brice's blood! I knew you were the same thing I am--well, I'm not going to let you kill him!" I was dumbfounded.

"What do you mean, what you are?"

He said, "I shouldn't need to tell you that all vampires can sense their own kind. Stay there."

Then he walked to the end of the alley, into the street and was gone for what seemed half an hour. He came back with a drunk girl in heels clinging to his shoulder. They were laughing like they'd just seen the funniest thing. She was scantily clad and had bleach blonde hair with dark roots. He walked toward me with her and clasped her by the shoulders. "Watch this," he mouthed. Then he bared his fangs and sunk them into her neck. Her expression changed in a split second from drunk and happy to terrified and shocked. She screamed and tried to run but he threw her down and devoured the artery in her neck, sucking every last drop of blood from her. He picked up her corpse and that of the homeless man and threw them effortlessly into a dumpster.

From then on, it was a constant battle between Carey and I for Brice's company. We both suspected the other of wanting to drink his blood and tried to protect him from the other. One night in a park I offered him a victim and tried to make peace with him, suggesting that we make a pact to protect Brice from other vampires and ourselves, and simply leave him when the urge came to feed. He angrily sucked all the blood from the girl and said "no deal." Then we proceeded to fist fight, throwing eachother threw the air at great distances.

"Bitch, when I catch you, I'm going to chain you to this tree and you'll explode when the sun comes up!" I remember him shouting.

Then the end of the nightmare came...I was in Brice's room making out with him. Carey barged in and said "Dude, let's go to the game store NOW." Brice laughed and said, "Um, I'm kinda busy." Carey stormed over and yelled "NO! You have to stay away from her! She's trying to kill you!" Then he grabbed me by the hair and threw me off of him. I slapped him across the face and we started fighting. Brice was shouting and trying to separate us, but we had become so angry we turned into vampires and started levitating. Brice was freaked out. He tried to run out of his room but Carey grabbed him. "Me or her, dude. You have to decide who dies."

Brice smacked at his arms and yelled "Get off me, I don't want to see either of you again! You can both die, you freaks!" I lunged at him, told him I loved him, then sunk my fangs into his neck. "NOOOOO!!! I wanted to turn him into a vampire!" Carey screamed. He ran over and finished the last of the blood, then cut his wrist and brought it to Brice's mouth.

I screamed "NooooooO!! What have I done?!" I told Carey he'd burn for turning Brice into one of the cursed. Then I kicked him in the head and ran out of the room, intent on being outside when the sun rose and killing myself.


hahahhahaahaaaaaaa

I'd kill the bastard.

One of the most horrifying nightmares I've ever had.

I was pregnant. And I didn't even notice it until Brice pointed it out. He did it so non-chalantly. "Look, you're three months pregnant." I look down. My stomach is swollen and I'm in such disbelief that I know it could only be a nightmare. But it seems so realistic. I scream. "AAAAAARHHHHGGGGG!!"

Crying. Worrying. Pacing around wondering what I'm going to do. Everyone else acting normal, like it's not a big deal I have a fucking human in my stomach. My life is over. I wonder how to kill it. How to kill myself. I run to Brice and scream, "I have to do something!" he pats me on the back and tells me there's nothing we can do about it, that we'll just have to be parents. "Too late for an abortion," he says, "we'll just keep it at my parents house while we're at work and school." Nooooooooo!!

I slap his chest and cry and scream as he tries to calm me down. I want to die. I can't handle a kid. I can barely take care of myself. I get angry that Brice and Ali and Carrie continue to sit in the dining room and play cards as I cry and grow more and more suicidal. I tell them I'm leaving to die somewhere. They say, "No, don't do that. You'll kill that baby. Sit down and chill out." No one looks up from the card game.

I was never so relieved to wake up as I was that morning.